Not a people's person (or: how to live as an idiot)

Few days ago (actually, almost 2 weeks ago) I have had a nice confirmation of how less I understand people. Well, truth is that it wasn't really on that day that I had the confirmation, I already knew it. But it has been a nice follow up on the conclusion I had come to in past times (and actually the episode was not so important on the matter, it was really important on another level, but transeat...).

I really don't get people. I maybe am able to understand their reactions, facial expressions and words when I am actually detached from them, but the minute they matter to me... ooohh!!! That gets really interesting! I simply get lost, go blind and deaf. I know myself, so nothing that happens really takes me by surprise, but it still hurts sometimes finding out... that I was right... or wrong, depending on which side you look at the matter from.

I definitely don't get people. I am better of with animals. I can understand why an animal does something. I cannot understand why a person does something. I can't even understand why I do something, imagine the difficulty when it comes to understand other people's actions. And again, the closer I am to the person, or better, the stronger the feeling I've got towards her (yes... hehehe... it's always a she, sorry) the less I understand. And that's why I love play football and why I understand people there: I HATE EVERYBODY on the football pitch! I am obviously joking and taking everything to an extreme, but in the above three paragraphs something true can be found.

I don't understand people. Please, come clean with me. I will not understand you.

How do I live with that? Like an idiot (hence the title). I move around, doing dumb mistakes, hurting people's feelings, hurting my feelings. And there's not enough words sometimes to explain "I am sorry" other than... the actual words. And it gets annoying not understanding and not getting understood.

Anyway, it's dark outside and there's so many things I don't understand that it sound a bit ridiculous. You will see me laughing a lot... not laughing that much in the inside.


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