12 days of Christmas

It is difficult to understand what's going on in my life. For me, I mean.

I am never too clear regarding what I really want, what it is important for me and what I would LOOOOOVE to do. Truth is that I really don't know what I like. I am a bit too apathetic in all the aspects of it (my life). I fear to commit to some specific hope, so that it cannot be crushed under the waves of life. Not that it has always happened something like that, I should say... but hey...sometimes it has happened so I am entitled in my fear!

So, there are so many things I like that I cannot pick a favourite one. I am positive that I definitely love to play football. That is for sure. I can actually say that there is no place on Earth in which I feel more at ease than any football pitch (7 a side up to 11 a side, maybe 5 a side is not really my place). And I am a bit scared about that.
But of all of the other things... did I love maths? Or I prefer physics? Or maybe natural biology? Or history? What about maps? I love maps! And sociology? Is it so interesting to check out people reactions... and music? Or movies? Or books, book I really love... but you got the picture. I can go on and on. That is one of the main reasons why I could really not end up being a good student. Nothing really interested me so much as to having myself dedicating all of my energy to it. Apart from sports in general and football in particular... but I never had the phyisique du role to really do something with that.

Anyway. Now I am buying an apartment in Amsterdam. And I love this city. But I'd love too to move back to Fuerteventura, or maybe go to Stockholm, and why not Vancouver? Canada is nice! And... and... Tahiti?

You got again the picture. I am doing this because it's the right time and probably the right place. But if you think I am completely positive about this... forget it. I am simply not interested in anything enough to have a satisfying life (whoa! WHOA!! Yes... I am pushing the limit here, a bit, just a bit). But I am doing my best and it's the best I can do, probably. Ah! If I could be able to jump off of that cliff... and really say: I LOVE THIS!

Not gonna happen any time soon, anyway. But it's good enough, no problem about that.

(Why 12 days of Christmas? Because while I was signing the contract to buy the apartment, the makelaar said that I'm gonna have it next to Christmas... by the way, the apartment will be mine on the 15th of October: IT'S NOT NEXT TO CHRISTMANS, COME ON!)
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