Il Nittalope

Alex Honnold climbed El Capitan, in Yosemite National Park, in 2017. Three years ago one of the most stunning athletic feats of the sporting world was made. Why was it so stunning? Because he climbed this rock, a 2900 feet wall (that is almost 1000 meters), in the free solo style. It means no ropes, no gear, no nets or rockets (I'm looking at you, Stanislaw Lem ). This means one mistake that led to you losing any of your grips, and you fall. And falling means death, with no exception. Even when you are at the beginning of the climb. Did he do this because he is a daredevil, tired of life? No, hearing him talk, watching him interact with humanity, it doesn't seem the case. He did it because the wall was there, and it was calling him. It was a cool thing to try, it was an incredible challenge to his mind. And he prepared for this for as much as he could. It was his 8 years project. From the early days, in which he was just thinking: " Wouldn't it be cool t...

I have been thinking of writing this for a long time. Since I wrote this 2 weeks ago. I wrote that , partially, in response to an article (you can find it in the post) in which an "expert" from the Dutch Intelligentsia declared that the Italian response to the Covid-19 outbreak was "stupid" . I also wrote that as a partial response to how our governments (plural, meaning all over the world), had been facing the outbreak. LinkedIn allowed me few lines... it's time to correct that. When the first news of this outbreak arrived in the "west" I remember I was chatting with some friends. My reaction was: yeah, it's bad, but most probably is affecting mainly old and weak people. I was not completely wrong. But I was still wrong. It actually can affect anyone, and only because young and strong are... well, young and strong, they have an higher probability of surviving. But only if they are treated in an ICU, so even young and strong can die. ...

Hey baby, how are you? I hope you are good (actually, you are just in front of me... well... when they say that technology blocks human interaction, eh!!). I just want to say that this last year has been a rollercoaster of emotions, and that I love it. You are a definitely difficult person, and I am too. And look, we managed a fantastic year, full of voyages, angry moments and love. And it's going on and on... who would have thought? We keep on travelling, we keep on getting angry and we keep on... love! Hehehehe... yeah... I am never completely serious if I can. I want simply to say "thank you". My life has improved a lot, and became more difficult too. Both things are because of you. It's going good, I feel it... so: kiss, I love you.

We have lost. Humanity is going down a spiral that... well... is shitty. Wow... strong words, I know. Truth is that I'm in Krakow, Poland. It's Sunday evening and I've done nothing the whole day. My love is far away, at home, and I've been here for too long. Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson in Park and Recs, for you series fans out there) said that he and his wife (Megan Mulally... another precious actress) decided early in their marriage that they would not accept jobs if it would have kept them apart more than 2 weeks. I agree with them, 1 week is ok, 2 weeks is bearable, but 3 weeks it's already too much being apart from your loved ones. And this month has been, hopefully, the last one. We'll see. But... "we've lost", I was saying. G20 meeting was down there in Argentina and humanity lost. That was plainly clear since Trump was elected, since I never doubted that any kind of policy he would be approve would have been absolutely against any ...

On a regular basis I think that I'm wasting my time... not in drugs, not in women, not in alcohol (well... ehm... on this late point, maybe sometimes yes... but just borderline... like 2 beers in an evening at home!)... but just wasting it not doing anything... sensible? Apart, maybe, in playing Sensible Soccer in it's days, I mean. Blogging has been for some time one of the sensible things I was doing that kept my spirits high, and on a regular basis I tried to restart it... but it's difficult... writing on a mobile is not practical, and writing on my laptops was a secondary thoughts (the first being playing any kind of game... damn STEAM!!!)... and writing at work, like I had been doing a lot at the beginning (like, in 2005???) is not a thing I would like to do. Also and possibly because I kind of like my job now, that I didn't back then) and because the job is taking up almost all of my... job time (imagine that!!). But recently, having to update my lap...

So much time as passed, and again I come back to this pages trying, again, to relate my thoughts, experiences and whatnot. Life has evolved since... April 2017. More than a year has passed, lots of water under the bridge. And I find myself in a sweet spot, good as could be, after few years of struggling... Since I arrived in the Netherlands I started again playing football... 7 a side, 6 a side... lately I started 11 a side again, after almost 10 years since my last match. It's a lower league, in the Netherlands people are crazy for sports so that every level of football, hockey, darts competitions can be found. But it's still on a full pitch and 90 minutes... and even if the team in which I started to be invited (some matches here and there) is not the best... better... normal... worst... ehm... well, other teams are not that bad. And I found out that being put in my old position in the middle of the midfield, I can still enjoy a full match. My fitness is low, my sp...

me voy a argentina en abril...que, te vienes o no? I don't remember the first time I talk with you, but I don't care that much. We became friends while you thought me how to work the night shift. The age difference could have been the one between father and son, but you already had a son and a daughter, and I already had a father... and anyway the relationship was directly of two equals... and I don't even know how it was possible, because I was a young little piece of an intricate confused human being, while I always sensed that you knew what was going around and why. I've been around the isle confused and amazed by a life I never dreamed and imaged of, while you probably looked at me as a young and enthusiastic fella who still have future in front of him to make mistake after mistake. I did, by the way. You gave me a friendship that helped me find a place to call home, even when I was alone, even when I was lost, even when I lost everything. You were there,...

I've never been good at the edge. Limits mainly gave me problems. Mathematical limits, psychological limits. With physical limits I've been always quite good. Probably because I never believed in them (not true, this is just to make myself look good...). Physical limits, anyway, I am good at them. Because I understand them, I've been fighting with them from a really early age. Never been too tall, never been too strong, growing up loving doing sports I needed to face my physical limits quite soon. And quite soon I pushed them back and back each time more. Emotional limits, that's where I'm really bad at. I tried. I tried to be strong a lot of times, and probably I got better and got stronger. But Truth is that they drain my strength to an extent where everything seems bleak and hopeless. And I'm not like that. But it goes down and down and down I need a ledge to hang on and don't find it. And the fall keeps going and going. Anyway... sometim...

We are back. And it's cold. And you are not gonna see me running outside because are you f****ing crazy?!? But... 2017 brought 2 new seasons, but also 1 day of rest in between of them. That's a nice gift, I suppose. Also it brought me 2 weeks of rest (following 2 weeks of rest at end of November/beginning of December). So I should have been slightly overweight (I am, I can confirm you this before hand), but also basically healthy (I am not, spoiler...). So yesterday first match of the season. My groin injury is still there... I've been basically playing left footed in the last 2 months, and it seems I will be doing the same in the foreseeable future if things won't improve. So, new seasons started, I'm overweight and getting near to be 1 year older (than when? Who cares, I'm trying to make a point here), some old injuries are still there (also ankle and knee... always there, lucky me) and I want to kick some asses, because I've been fed ...

... and I've not moved an inch. Here the photos... that people tells me I don't post photos... on FB probably... getting there meetings visiting the city and... food botanic gardens Sentosa Thailand ... hiking the parks coming back

No, not the famous island in the Pacific Ocean that was the theatre of a pivotal battle during World War II. Simply midway, from here to there. From now and then. First week of holidays almost gone, spent in Singapore, eating, walking, walking, eating. The highlight of everything is been... well... FOOD. Singapore is a beautiful city, full of cultural mix-ups, skyscrapers next to colonial architecture. Tropical forest next to AC freezing malls. And food. Food... food. Want to eat chinese? You welcome. Fancy japanese? Not that difficult to find. Thai? Philippino's? Everywhere, food everywhere. But I've been shy. I've eating "oriental" only at lunch and dinner; breakfast has been way too occidental. I have shamed myself. And eaten at Starbucks... at least too many times. But one day... when I had a continental breakfast in an australian bar. Yes... well... I'll try to improve. In the meanwhile I've already "improved" my wei...

So, my running resolution for the old year has gone haywire, but I don't care, actually. So, I started running, I managed for what... 2 or 3 weeks? And then life, pain, injuries... and the main fact that I HATE running, brought me to fall back to my usual "wishing running" routine. I also at one point decided to rest completely, since my left ankle is hurting, my right knee is hurting, my back is hurting, my groin hurt (still undiagnosed... but pain pain pain). Then, since these are my last playing years (or maybe... year??) I decided to come back. And so last week I played on Monday (lost) and Tuesday (surprisingly won!). And then a teammate from the Monday team asked me to play 11 a side on Saturday and I said: why not? So, I played on Saturday, around 60 minutes. And today is Monday and we just finished playing and we won (YES!). And my legs hurt like hell. That is how it's gonna be from now on, I know. It's been like that more or less throu...

The "Running Life" project is not going on well. It's been 3 weeks of just Monday's and Tuesday's matches and nothing more. Well... last Sunday I "trained" with my Tuesday's team for 2 hours in the morning. "Training" means a 1 hour match 3 vs 3 and 1 hour of some shooting exercises. That's been all. I've got good excuses for this... I've been sick on and off for last 3 weeks basically. So I'm not feeling that bad. But today I could... and I didn't. It's autumn, the bleak season... I was bleak. And how the match have been going? Well. Good and bad. My legs have not been that bad. My performances have been quite good (actually on Tuesday's game I scored 8 goals in 3 matches, playing also more than 1 half in goal... so not bad). Yesterday has been the first time I had again pain in the lower legs. Next week I'll be in Italy for the whole week, and I have the idea (pale idea) to go to run once or tw...

Well, in the last 2 weeks I've never run a single day. For different reasons... like... well... how to say it... I didn't want? Anyway, today it was match day, and I was sick since last Thursday (fever, simple fever), but I was a bit better, so I decided to play anyway. Well... no strength, no power, no stamina... and not even brains... It was a funny experience, though... the world was not spinning at the right speed, and sometimes was spinning too much... my mind was a bit wondering at times...  We lost.

First of all... the ones who understand the title of this post are spread over quite a nice part of Europe... and one is on a different plane of existence (if ever). Then... life is strange. When everything goes on on it's tracks, you are prepared to renovate everything in your life (exaggeration, right there...) and even start being blonde, some words on a monitor start becoming more and more important. And hearing a voice is nice and sweet. And well... hearing that voice it's not easy, it's somewhere far far away. But hey, easy things? Naaa... too boring. Who knows what's happening? And who cares? What can happen and what will happen are two different things, but both are exciting and there's no use in trying to worry about that. Yep... ZEN mode is on.

And so it happened. After having jogged on Wednesday, a colleague of mine asked me if on Saturday I would join on a match of his 11 a side football team. He would be injured, but would be there. So I said yes, because: why not? Probably it's a bit early, I have been jogging (I really can't say "training") for just 3 weeks... but he asked me on Friday, just before I was supposed to go running, and that was a big push on say "yes". I would have not gone running right away, but I would have anyway "jogged" on Saturday. And Saturday it come. I went to the field, met the team, I was to sub, obviously, and had no problem on that... even better, should I say, because an 11 a side is a big pitch and it's 90 mins and I am old. So... I warm up a bit, exchanged passes with the guys and then stayed on the side watching the match for the first half. The 2 teams were quite balanced, our opponents were playing with a big fat guy who couldn...

Time is running out. ETA is nearing and getting pretty close: TOMORROW! Renovations are gonna start. Everything is a surprise and I'm up to do none of the things I should do... at least until I will not start doing them! Little calendar down here. Cross fingers and whatever else you could cross! Day    Task    Time 16-Sep (Fri)    Organize and move stuff    3 17-Sep (Sat)    rent/buy needed tools    2 17-Sep (Sat)    Organize and move stuff    6 18-Sep (Sun)    remove wallpaper in Livingroom    7 18-Sep (Sun)    prepare stuff to move out    1 19-Sep (Mon)    remove all doors    19-Sep (Mon)    close main water and gas (need to move out!!!)    19-Sep (Mon)    remove floor in Bathroom    4 19-Sep (Mon)  ...

So... Then... Well... But... It took quite some years and some months and finally it landed: I've lost. You know, one of those losses were you can't say: "well, but at least we played well", or "the refs were totally biased!". No... I had all of the opportunities to play well, to talk with the referee (even if, as usual, the referee wasn't interested... happens a lot to me...), to change the game... but I didn't play well. And for once... sadly, I didn't even played fairly. I know, I know... I always prided myself for my fairness. I wasn't fair. My own standards of fairness were not followed by myself. Shame on me. Deserved the defeat and shut the fuck up, because you are an idiot. So... I lost. I lost and it hurts a lot and it will not go away. Not because never again I will win, or that nothing else matters, because that's not true. Things that matters are all around and sometimes are found in strange places. And maybe I ...

End of second week of this new life of mine. Actually... how to say this... I run only once last week. And I noticed it. Yesterday's match was a slow start. My legs didn't want to start running. And I understand them. Last time I moved them was Wednesday, 5 days before. It wasn't a clever move. But by the halftime they got used to moving and I got better. I didn't forced any run, but I also noticed (again) that my stamina was better than usual. So... run helped still. Today second match of the week, and I already knew that I was feeling better from the moment I pick up the bike to ride to the pitch. And during the match it was confirmed. Runs and stamina. Loved it. So, tomorrow is running day, and hopefully also 1 between Friday and Saturday. I should try at least 2 times a week. Let's see... let's see... I feel that a lot of young player will feel the burn of the old guy...

Wednesday come and I went to run. I almost didn't, then I got home, simply changed and went. The good feeling continued. I had mainly pain in calves and shins... that, as we know by now, is the thing that worries me. Anyway. I run, stopped just 3 times (2 at the traffic light, going and coming back, 1 for stretching). It was way easier that the first 2 times, I even thought I managed to increase the time a lot. I wasn't right... basically the same exact time, maybe some minute by km less. But I was disappointed when I saw it. And at the end, the usual nice relaxing feeling as shown in the picture below: But... I feel better... the sad thing is that today I will not go. I am already sit down at my desk and giving no shits... sad me...